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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Yehuda Poliker (album 4) - Less but hurts (part 1)



Yehuda Poliker's 4th record was released in 1990 and is my first encounter with this singer. 
I was a teen, living in difficult conditions, and three of this album's songs spoke to me as if they were written about my own case : 

The first of these is the third on the CD. It's called hazel ve'ani, which means the shadow and me. It tells mostly of him living in the closet (from which he'd come out publicly many years later) ; to me it was about the double life I was leading, and the massive difficulties that lead to this choice... I wasn't allowed to listen to music, mind you, so I had bought a small portable radio that was also a foldable headphone on which I'd listen to this song every time it'd air. 
It was my mantra, right from the first notes - drums rolling in, and a dancy pop song ensuing. 


The lyrics talk about the narrator and his shadow, walking in a rainy day - at times he leads, and other moments, his shadow does. The poetry leaves enough margin to adapt to my own shadow - that self that was pushed into a corner by constant bullying and abuse at home, and my longing to fly away - just like the narrator wishing to fly on a new connection that couldn't be imagined before : me, being whole once again, and not having to lead that double life.

Then, the first track of this album, which is the titular track : less, but hurts - about the difficulties in one's healing process after many traumas. To Poliker, being a second generation to Holocaust survivors, and the difficulties at home with his parents. 
To me, my own trauma that I felt had no end. This song, and that Shadow I just discussed gave me a sparkle of hope. In what appeared hopeless, even the tiniest sparkle was important and knowing that others have suffered trauma and survived was a rather new notion to me at that point in my life. Hence, this song marked me for my entire life.

Last song from these important onces is track 8, called Perah, meaning Flower ; here, the lyrics make the political statement about children dying in wars, even the so-called ''justice wars'' or ''holly'' etc. The imagery depicts a flower that goes to her eternal sleep, whilst angles weep.
This is the one song I can never stop myself from crying. It's a profoundly emotional and tragic songs. It's even heart wrenching, and it often takes me a long while to come out of my tragic transe. 
This song also confirmed my choice as a pacifist, especially growing up in a country with a lot of war around. 



To part 2, the album in more general terms 

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